The Spookiness Continues

June 15, 2002

Things have been a little quiet namesuppressed way lately. I've been finishing University projects and studying for exams, and it has taken up much more time than I expected, so I haven't been recording any new songs, much less polishing them into a final product. All fairly dull. That said, the spookiness I described in my last entry has continued during all that time.

I got rid of the Tool CD, so that's not bothering me... but I've had a new flood of songs come to me, and that rarely happens. One that I nearly finished, called Saccharine, came to me in a single night, and I stayed up until 3am until I had written down as much as I could hear in my head. It's a fairly sarcastic, cynical and punky track on sickly sweet culture. There's been other songs too, complete lyrics all in one hit and I'm never quite sure where it's coming from.

Big deal right? So I've got a few new songs and I don't know what inspired them... what's so spooky about that? I guess nothing. And really, I don't think I can convey what's happened this last month, certainly not in a way people would believe. But sometimes... sometimes you're talking to somebody, and you suddenly feel you're *not* talking to them - it's like you're talking through them to something or someone else. It tells you things, you know you're being *told* something that it's futile to try and argue with. There's nothing to prove what happened, just a feeling that you both have of "Whoa, what just happened here?" I could go on here about dark black and purple flowers, glowing white humming flowers... but I know that will make no sense and have no meaning for virtually anyone reading this, so I'm not even going to try. I still don't understand it all anyway. (Feel relieved?)

Yup, I'm sure it sounds nuts, maybe I'm even going crazy. But I know what I experienced, and it's influencing all the music and lyrics that have come since that time. It's making things clearer somehow, the new album seems have more cohesion and make more sense as a result. I don't know where it's leading, though I'm feeling a tendency towards a completely different direction next year, starting afresh, maybe even starting from scratch. I don't know.

The only reason I'm bothering to write about this tonight, is that while I was at the preview screenings for Oh My (a TV creation of Matt Parker), I ran into someone who had experienced something similar themselves (and they started talking about it, not me). It just hits you, you know you can't argue with it, you don't even know where it's coming from... you just know something's going on. And it creeps you out.

Hopefully this will be the last time I write about this topic, as I'm sure it makes no sense to anyone. Let's see where it takes us instead, what comes from it.